You are probably a Republican ...

1. If you let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids ... you are probably a Republican.

 

2. If the Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it ... you are probably a Republican.

 

3. If you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws ... you are probably a Republican.

 

4. If you think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night ... you are probably a Republican.

 

5. If you wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean ... you are probably a Republican.

 

6. If someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.' ... you are probably a Republican.

 

7. If you think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader ... you are probably a Republican.

 

8. If your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan ... you are probably a Republican.

 

9. If your junior prom offered day care ... you are probably a Republican.

 

10. If you think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines' ... you are probably a Republican.

 

11. If you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels ... you are probably a Republican.

 

12. If the Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse ... you are probably a Republican.

 

13. If you have to go outside to get something from the fridge ... you are probably a Republican.

 

14. If one of your kids was born on a pool table ... you are probably a Republican.

 

15. If you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos ... you are probably a Republican.

 

16. If you can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it ... you are probably a Republican.

 

17. If you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk ... you are probably a Republican.